#josiah amberley

[no-side-us]

Letters From Watson Liveblog - Sep. 27

The Retired Colourman, Part 2 of 2

Watson continues to be the most long-suffering partner in existence. And while being stuck with a miser of a man in some little village in the middle of nowhere is admittedly pretty funny, Holmes could have at least saved the laughter for when Watson got back.

I had assumed the mysterious man who was present while Watson was investigating solo would turn out to be Holmes in disguise, a la other stories, but I guess not. So is he the local inspector or something?

Very direct and upfront. I like that. No need to play games or act coy with Amberley, Holmes just confronts him about it outright.

A cyanide pill? Or whatever poison thing is in that pellet. I didn't know they had those back then. How did Amberley even get it, or rather why did he have it on him at all? Did he suspect the jig would be up before he and Watson went to the vicarage, which would make some sense now that I'm thinking about it.

Holmes has a rival! A "hated" rival at that! What an interesting little tidbit. Looking him up, it doesn't seem like he's in any story other than this one (unless you decide to make him Cecil Barker from Valley of Fear like some do), so I would have liked if he had more of a role in this story as a rival to Holmes.

I like the credit Holmes gives to Watson throughout the explanation of the case. He should do that more often.

So the paint was used to cover up a smell, but the smell of the gas used to kill them and not of their decaying bodies stashed somewhere in the house. Well, at least I was half right, though I think the gas might have been a bit too complicated since it required a whole specific room to work.

And that day is today. I feel like we haven't seen Holmes allow another detective to take credit for a case in a while, at least not in story. Glad to see he's still keeping it up, while also acknowledging that the truth will get out some day anyways.

Great case, can't wait.

Part 1 - Part 2

[faithful-grigori]

”#okay this one is going to be hard too, #Josiah Amberley is a suspicious & jealous husband who solves his perceived marital issues by building a gas chamber, #to murder his wife and her alleged lover, #Neil Gibson - I hate him the most hands down but does that justify the Worst Client label? Let's find out..., #he is an abusive husband who decides to carry out a campaign of mistreatment to force his wife to leave him, #his issues with her stem from racism and poor choices - it isn't her fault that you decided to get married without knowing each other, #he acts predatory toward a young woman in his employ. #and uses his feelings for her as a justification for his awful behavior, #he's the type of man who thinks his money and influence can do anything and is just generally a massive asshole. #Duke Holdernesse is also the type of man who thinks his money and influence can do anything, #he's created a mess for his whole family by favoring reputation over their well-being, #so it goes without saying that he is a shitty father and husband, #his youngest son's misery and willingness to run away are clear red flags, #however Holdernesse does display a desire to do better and might actually succeed, #Gibson isn't going to change on his own and we don't know if Grace actually suffers the misfortune of being saddled to him as a partner, #Amberley is a miserable man who does not seem to regret committing an atrocious crime plus he has the gall to act as a client, #But Gibson's business dealings spread to the ruin of people and nations by his own admission, #so the reach of harm he has enacted and will likely continue to perpetrate is immense, #he may not be directly responsible for murder but if he's as powerful as all that then he probably has blood on his hands either way, #So yes - Gibson does qualify for first place, #Amberly takes 2nd with Holdernesse at 3rd, #Lestrade and Lady Eva Brackwell don't qualify”

Letters from Watson: Worst Client poll 9

Poll 8 link

Oh boy we've got some DOOZIES in this round! Y'all know easily where I stand on this one but I'm dying to see others' reasonings for their votes--don't forget to add in the tags!

[tremendously-crazy]

We, as sherlock holmes fans, are so quick to diss the casebook of s sherlock holmes, but forget entirely about this cold scene from the Retired Colourman:

"This is my friend Mr. Barker,' said Holmes. "He has been interesting himself also in your business, Mr. Josiah Amberley, though we have been working independently. But we both have the same question to ask you!"

Mr. Amberley sat down heavily. He sensed im- pending danger. I read it in his straining eyes and his twitching features. "What is the question, Mr. Holmes?"

"Only this : What did you do with the bodies?"

[vickyvicarious]

Several very funny back-and-forths in today's update...

“What did you think of him?”

“A pathetic, futile, broken creature.”

Imagine just casually describing someone in this way. Incredible. The first words out his mouth.

“The Haven is the name of Mr. Josiah Amberley's house,” I explained. “I think it would interest you, Holmes. It is like some penurious patrician who has sunk into the company of his inferiors. You know that particular quarter, the monotonous brick streets, the weary suburban highways. Right in the middle of them, a little island of ancient culture and comfort, lies this old home, surrounded by a high sun-baked wall mottled with lichens and topped with moss, the sort of wall—”

“Cut out the poetry, Watson,” said Holmes severely. “I note that it was a high brick wall.”

“Exactly.”

SO funny. Feels very much like they are treading old ground here. Watson doesn't always talk like this out loud, though he does in narration, so between that and his very nonchalant reaction to Holmes cutting him off, it kinda feels like he might be winding him up on purpose just for fun.

And then the classic:

“With your natural advantages, Watson, every lady is your helper and accomplice. What about the girl at the post-office, or the wife of the greengrocer? I can picture you whispering soft nothings with the young lady at the Blue Anchor, and receiving hard somethings in exchange. All this you have left undone.”

“It can still be done.”

We start off with the typical 'good job! you didn't notice anything relevant' when Watson gets to investigate, but then take a hard turn into Holmes joking about him being a big flirt and yet failing to weaponize his charm. So funny. Especially Watson's petulant 'well I can still go charm them now' and Holmes immediately firing back 'no need.' Is this revenge for the poetry, Holmes. Why are you two being so silly today.

...finally, not quite as funny but the always-enjoyable:

“Did you personally examine this ticket? You did not, perchance, take the number?”

“It so happens that I did,” I answered with some pride. “It chanced to be my old school number, thirty-one, and so is stuck in my head.”

“Excellent, Watson!”

Watson Notices Something Important but doesn't understand the full significance (though it's still a cute proud moment)

and:

“It was undoubtedly the tall, dark man whom I had addressed in the street. I saw him once more at London Bridge, and then I lost him in the crowd. But I am convinced that he was following me.”

“No doubt! No doubt!” said Holmes. “A tall, dark, heavily moustached man, you say, with gray-tinted sun-glasses?”

“Holmes, you are a wizard. I did not say so, but he had gray-tinted sun-glasses.”

“And a Masonic tie-pin?”

“Holmes!”

“Quite simple, my dear Watson.”

Watson Notices Something but not in the right way (AKA Holmes in Disguise Again)

[holmesillustrations]

Vote for your favourite, the top 9 will proceed in the bracket. Since theyre all different shapes and sizes, make sure to click into the full views!

Paget Eliminations

Other Artist Eliminations

Full captions and details for each illustration below the cut:

"He examined with his glass the word upon the wall, going over every letter of it with the most minute exactness." DH Friston, A Study in Scarlet (Beeton's Christmas Annual 1887) Characters L-R: Watson, Holmes, Lestrade, Gregson

"The man, with a convulsive effort, tore the plaster from his lips." WH Hyde, The Greek Interpreter (Harper's Weekly) Characters: Sophy Kratides, Latimer and his associate, Paul Kratides, Mr Melas

"There was a sort of sulky defiance in her eyes." FD Steele, The Norwood Builder (Collier's) Characters: Mrs Lexington (Oldacre's housekeeper)

"It was a dog-grate, Mr Holmes, and he overpitched it. I picked this out unburned from the back of it." Arthur Twidle, Wisteria Lodge (The Strand) Characters: Watson, Holmes, John Eccles, Gregson, Insp. Baynes

"They bundled him into a cab that was beside the kerb" HM Brock, Red Circle (The Strand) Characters: Mr Warren and his attackers

"Holmes examined the stone ledge and the grass border beyond it." Frank Wiles, Valley of Fear (The Strand) Characters: Holmes

"For an instant i could have sworn that the faintest shadow of a smile flickered over the woman's lips." Arthur Keller, Valley of Fear (1915 US Novel) Characters: Mrs Douglas, Cecil Barker, White Mason, Holmes, Insp MacDonald

"Holmes was kneeling beside the stonework, and a joyous cry showed that he had found what he expected." Alfred Gilbert, Thor Bridge (The Strand) Characters: Holmes, Watson, Sgt Coventry

"It only needs one more Garrideb — and surely we can find one." JR Flanagan, Three Garridebs (Collier's) Characters: Nathan Garrideb

"See here, Mr. Holmes, you keep your hands out of other folks' business." HK Elcock, Three Gables (The Strand) Characters: Watson, Steve Dixie, Holmes

" 'Cut out the poetry, Watson,' said Holmes severely." Frank Wiles, Retired Colourman (The Strand) Characters: Watson, Holmes

" 'If this is a joke, sir, it is a very questionable one,' said the vicar angrily." Frank Wiles, Retired Colourman (The Strand) Characters: Vicar, Josiah Amberley, Watson

[faithful-grigori]

”#this one's just sad”

Things you don't expect to look up when reading a Sherlock Holmes story: "When did gas chambers become a thing?"

Turns out they were executing people in gas chambers in the States by 1927, when this story came out - ACD tends not to care very much about whether this makes sense when the story is set, but it is of course possible that Amberley in the late 1890s could look at the big metal box that was his strongroom and think 'What if I hooked up the gas pipes to that?' A different murderer had a similar thought in 'The Greek Interpreter', using incomplete combustion to kill people with carbon monoxide.

The answer to 'what if I did that', incidentally, is 'that's a really good way to blow up your house'. So don't try that at home. Or any of the rest of the stuff he did.

How did he even get them to go into the room?

[mariana-oconnor]

The Retired Colourman pt 2

Last time we met possibly the most pathetic person ever to have lived, if the several different descriptions of him were to be believed. He is just the most pathetic little man.

Also, his wife has either run off with all his money, or he killed her, or a secret third thing.

Also he has a prosthetic leg... I think. Not sure if that's going to be relevant or not. It feels like the kind of detail that might be relevant to something. Footprints or... he hid something inside the prosthetic, but I don't know if they had hollow prosthetics at the time.

Well, The Most Pathetic Man in The World™️was given a lead (possibly a ruse) by Holmes and didn't want to pursue it, which seems kind of sus since it could lead to both his missing wife and his missing life's savings.

Although, as a terminally lazy person, I feel like I cannot cast aspersions on this. I too would prefer to wallow in misery and let wife and savings go if the alternative required travelling somewhere and (horror of horrors) talking to someone.

“I mean the wire which you sent to Mr. Josiah Amberley about his wife and his money.” “If this is a joke, sir, it is a very questionable one,” said the vicar angrily. “I have never heard of the gentleman you name, and I have not sent a wire to anyone.”

Ha! It was a ruse. But whose ruse was it? Holmes? The villain? The Most Pathetic Man in The World™️?

“There is only one vicarage, sir, and only one vicar, and this wire is a scandalous forgery, the origin of which shall certainly be investigated by the police. Meanwhile, I can see no possible object in prolonging this interview.”

Gonna get the police involved because someone sent a telegram in my name. I know it is stolen identity and fraud and impersonating a member of the clergy, but that instant reaction is very serious.

I got into touch with Holmes, who shared in our amazement at the result of our journey. “Most singular!” said the distant voice. “Most remarkable! I much fear, my dear Watson, that there is no return train to-night. I have unwittingly condemned you to the horrors of a country inn."

Oh yeah, it was absolutely Holmes' ruse. He wanted Amberley the Pathetic to be out of the way for a bit and he needed Watson to keep an eye on him. He timed it perfectly so they would miss the last train. He is a menace.

"However, there is always Nature, Watson—Nature and Josiah Amberley—you can be in close commune with both.”

How many times are you going to slut-shame Watson this story, Holmes.

'Commune' with both nature and Amberley....

“If they are not worth more than the last ones they are not of much use, ” said Amberley with a malevolent scowl.

The more time we spend with him, the more sympathy I have with his wife. Cheating and stealing still bad, but why did she ever marry this man in the first place? Even societal expectations can't have been that pressing.

Maybe she literally did it to steal his money. I guess gold digger is an old profession, after all. But even so. I didn't think he had that much money. It would have to have been an awful lot to put up with him.

A stern-looking, impassive man sat beside him, a dark man with gray-tinted glasses and a large Masonic pin projecting from his tie.

Ah, so the mysterious stranger from last time wasn't in fact Holmes in disguise. It was actually a mysterious stranger.

I guess that had to happen sometime.

“What is the question, Mr. Holmes?” “Only this: What did you do with the bodies?”

In a flash we got a glimpse of the real Josiah Amberley, a misshapen demon with a soul as distorted as his body. As he fell back into his chair he clapped his hand to his lips as if to stifle a cough. Holmes sprang at his throat like a tiger and twisted his face towards the ground. A white pellet fell from between his gasping lips.

There is a lot to unpack here. First 'demon', second, once again 'the evil person looks evil trope. Third... he has a suicide pill WTF?!?!

Why the fuck does he have a suicide pill? How does that even make sense? We are missing so much of this story.

“We don't seem to have got any real facts yet, Mr. Holmes."

Thank you, Inspector.

"He has, to a high degree, the sort of mind which one associates with the mediaeval Italian nature rather than with the modern Briton."

Ah, what could be more British than casual stereotyping of continental Europeans? You know Machiavelli wasn't writing about the average Italian, right Holmes?

"Why should this man at such a time be filling his house with strong odours? Obviously, to cover some other smell which he wished to conceal—some guilty smell which would suggest suspicions."

Did not think of it being odour cover-up. Or eau de cover-up, I guess... huh.

“It is masterly,” said the inspector in an awed voice. “There being no fear of interruption I proceeded to burgle the house. Burglary has always been an alternative profession had I cared to adopt it, and I have little doubt that I should have come to the front."

Holmes... maybe... don't tell the police officer that you burgled somewhere. Even if it is the home of a murderer in order to find evidence of said murder. This is not a good idea. This is a very bad idea. Why did you just say this?

"...but why he should have gone to you I can't understand.” “Pure swank!” Holmes answered. “He felt so clever and so sure of himself that he imagined no one could touch him."

The remarkable acumen by which Inspector MacKinnon deduced from the smell of paint that some other smell, that of gas, for example, might be concealed; the bold deduction that the strong-room might also be the death-chamber, and the subsequent inquiry which led to the discovery of the bodies in a disused well, cleverly concealed by a dog-kennel, should live in the history of crime as a standing example of the intelligence of our professional detectives. “Well, well, MacKinnon is a good fellow,” said Holmes with a tolerant smile. “You can file it in our archives, Watson. Some day the true story may be told.”

Do you think Watson saves these up until the police officer in question pisses him off in some way, then publishes them?

Well, this one was weird af. Still don't get the suicide pill. If he was so arrogant as to hire the detective to investigate his own crime, then why would he think there was any reason for a suicide pill?

Also, Mr Barker the alternate Sherlock Holmes... who is a Mason. The weirdness just continues. This is a bit like when a TV show has a backdoor pilot for a spin off that never happens. In some other universe there was a whole series of Mr Barker Investigates that ACD wrote. What a strange world that would be.

[thebeesareback]

Poll to determine the most evil Sherlock Holmes villain from the original stories

Part six: The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes

OK! So please vote for your favourite. I've done other polls with villains from the other short stories and the novels, and when the results are in I'll put the winners in a poll together

[no-side-us]

Letters From Watson Liveblog - Sep. 25

The Retired Colourman, Part 1 of 2

This guy must have really left a bad impression if only a sparse meeting gets this sort of reaction. But considering it's Watson, maybe the guy was only a little weird and that was enough for Watson to call him pathetic, futile, and broken.

Holmes' philosophical musings are unsurprisingly dour. This reminds me of his thoughts on life in the countryside, which were also quite dark, though more reasonable to understand.

The story's really been ragging on Josiah Amberley so far, calling him pathetic, futile, broken, ugly, no money, no wife cause she left him, etc. And we haven't even met him yet!

Harsh, but fair. On the bright side, in the actual story we are now reading the description is technically still in place, even if it was cut off, so Watson sort of gets the last laugh.

Sometimes I wonder if Watson is writing this stuff in for himself, but I know he's too humble for that. No, more likely Holmes just thinks Watson is that charming. I'm sure in his mind, Watson could easily be seducing half the countryside and coming back with a decades worth of gossip, rumors, and local history.

No way, the wife turned out to have a good reason for wanting to leave her husband. How shocking. What a surprise.

Alright, my current theory so far is that Mrs. Amberley and the "gay Lothario" Dr. Ernest did not in fact run off together. I think Josiah here murdered them.

Earlier it was mentioned that he was painting his house, which was quite dilapidated. A man who would allow his home to reach such a state would not likely be the type to care about the painting of the woodwork, as Holmes would probably say. The paint was likely to cover up marks from the murder or the smell of the corpses. That's why he has no desire to follow up on any clues, since he knows they're not genuine. Although I don't know why he would pretend to have lost money, but I guess I'll see in the next letter.

Part 1 - Part 2

[faithful-grigori]

”#not to repeat holmes but it will seem simple in the end when everything is explained, #I'm not improving much in predicting these stories lol, #so many questions”

I sense some major involvement of Holmes with the telegram. He knew it would come, and when, obviously, or he would not have warned Watson to be ready around that time. He also manipulated the situation so that Amberley could not refuse to go. What Holmes exactly has planned, I don't know. Some sort of trap to prove that Amberley is not telling the truth seems the most likely. And who was the man following Watson? Holmes knows who is, what he looks like. Is he the young doctor with which Amberley's wife supposedly eloped?

[paradises-library]

“The Haven is the name of Mr. Josiah Amberley's house,” I explained. “I think it would interest you, Holmes. It is like some penurious patrician who has sunk into the company of his inferiors. You know that particular quarter, the monotonous brick streets, the weary suburban highways. Right in the middle of them, a little island of ancient culture and comfort, lies this old home, surrounded by a high sun-baked wall mottled with lichens and topped with moss, the sort of wall—” “Cut out the poetry, Watson,” said Holmes severely. “I note that it was a high brick wall.”

-"The Retired Colourman," Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[kierrasreads]

The Adventure of the Retired Colourman (The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes #12) by Arthur Conan Doyle Review

Plot

Sherlock Holmes is hired by a retired art supply dealer from Lewisham, Josiah Amberley, to look into his wife's disappearance.

Discussion

It’s a well known fact that criminals will try to appear innocent to the police…well, Josiah definitely did that! I’m glad that he got arrested- his poor innocent wife and his poor friend. Paranoia and jealously really do drive people crazy, don’t they?

With this being the final story…adieu, Mr. Holmes! Until we meet again

Rating

2/5

[faithful-grigori]

”#like-- at least warn watson that you suspect the guy of murder before you force him to spend so much time in his company--”

Highlight of the LfW Discord this morning

[bakerstoldplace]

reasons why “The Adventure of the Retired Colourman“ is great

Watson does investigation in his own, Holmes praises him (in his critical manner, but still)

observant Watson

a good mystery

playful holmes: “ ‘However, there is always Nature, Watson—Natureand  Josiah  Amberley—you  can  be  in  close  commune  with  both.’  I  heard  his  dry  chuckle  as  he turned away.” and “Look at the steps I have taken. I have consulted not only the police but even Sherlock Holmes.”

it closes the canon with a pretty good sentence: “You can file it in our archives, Watson. Some day the true story maybe told.”, that also opens many doors for speculation!

[devoursjohnlock]

'I much fear, my dear Watson, that there is no return train tonight. I have unwittingly condemned you to the horrors of a country inn.  However, there is always Nature, Watson – Nature and Josiah Amberley – you can be in close commune with both.'  I heard his dry chuckle as he turned away.

The Retired Colourman